Facing my fears
I have a lot of fears.
But I do not know what am I afraid of.
I guess this is not just my experience but to many people too. We face lots of fears daily such as: fear of illness, fear of loneliness, fear of change, fear of future, fear of loss, fear of making wrong decision, fear of death, etc… All these fears cause us to live life with lots of worries.
Ever since I started meditation and look within, I discovered many little secrets that were even unknown to me. And I have been living with these fears all these years, seeing things with skepticism. And henceforth I am neither here nor there, feeling unhappy and incomplete.
I have learned from various spiritual books on how to be with our emotions, and realized that using such approach to face the fears within me does help me to overcome them .
Whenever I feel that there is fear creeping into my heart and causing me discomfort, I will let it stay in my heart quietly. Then with some self talk or questioning, I begin to let go of the fear slowly. I noticed that as long as I am willing to face the fear, its original “power” will begin to fade. This is especially so if I look directly into its eyes and allow myself to ask “Will whatever I fear definitely happen?” or “Is this really true?”, I will then realize that the fear is created by my own ego in the attempt to make me stay in my comfort zone. It is a disguise from my ego.
Sometimes I will mock at myself for such silliness to be over thinking too much.
Mankind are known to be afraid of the dark. And that’s because we feel handicapped
in the darkness as we can’t see a thing in front or around us. We are afraid that we may trip if we take a step forward blindly. But as long as there is a tiny beam of light that allows us to see even just a foot ahead of us, our fears reduce.
So, to me, by asking “Will whatever I fear definitely happen?” or “Is this really true?”, it is like letting a beam of light into the darkness. This will give me the courage to take that
I constantly remind myself to face my fears with courage and don’t allow my ego to manipulate me. Even if I still can’t make a decision yet, at least I won’t feel as lost as before.
Still my mind, and look within. I will realize that all my fears are self created. Buddha has said:” All are but self inflicted”, I guess thats what he really meant.