Anchoring my beliefs / 扎实我的信念
I am left-handed but I kick with my right leg.
I was born in 197o and it should be a “dog” year in Chinese Horoscope, but the old year in the Chinese calendar wasn’t over, so I am a rooster.
My birthday is 2o January and I am always lost between Capricorn and Aquarius.
The above has always made me feel confused, and in reality, I complicate matters often and make a mess in my life.
l love to sing, but l can’t sing very well although still bearable.
l love to read, and may know a bit of Chinese proverbs, I haven’t really written anything that touch the readers’ heart.
I love Chinese Kung fu and always feel that it is a beautiful art, but other than some self-learned somersaults, I didn’t have a chance to learn martial arts properly.
The above made me feel like I am greedy, Jack of all trades, but master of none.
With the lack of confidence and limiting beliefs, l created a life that is boring and purposeless.
About 8 years ago, l met with the first major bottleneck of my life and started penning my thoughts down. This led to an Improvement to my prose writing.
Incidentally, l snapped a picture in 2014 that l like very much and wanted to have my own style in photography. I began learning photography on my own through the internet. And soon, I picked up “videography” too, which was never in my plan.
Although the pictures that I took are ok, but still remain as amateur .
When I was young, I was told that left-handed people are different from the rest, especially when we use our right brain to think . And I was also told that left-handed people are creative. But for most of my life, my hobbies and interests and whatever I did have got nothing to do with arts. I have never believed that I was a creative creature and often told others that creativity is a stranger to me, especially drawings.
I have “tried” to draw before and it never turn out well, not a single bit.
However, my experiences in whatever that I have learned in the recent past years told me that as long as I put my heart in it, I will be able to pick up a new skill anytime.
A few months back, I was rewarding myself (retail therapy) by getting an iPad for myself, and with that, I came upon drawing and doodling on the iPad with the Apple Pencil.
It was honestly just for fun but soon, I began to want to prove to myself that I can draw too, even if it’s not going to be as realistic as I wish to be.
Once again, I searched the internet for tutorials in sketching and also bought myself a set of pencils, erasers, blending stump and began to learn to sketch.
I was persistent and sketched almost every day, before work, while traveling on the bus, after work and neglected the other things.
Soon, I realized that I can sketch a decent picture and my confidence level increased.
Today, my belief that I am not good in drawing has changed. I’m still not creative, but I do have some talent in arts, even though I am “copying”from others and still do not have my own style in writing, photography and drawing.
There are many things that have happened in the past 10 years that I could never imagined of, and soon I understand that our beliefs are controlling our lives in a certain way.
As long as we believe in ourselves, the result will be somewhat close to what we wish to do or wish for. Although I have learned from Buddhism that every experience we go through is a result of cause and effect, I am also increasing my belief that my destiny can be changed through changing my belief system.
It has been 3 months since I last penned my thoughts. I have neglected my blog and writing for the sake of proving myself and strengthening my belief. Through beliefs, I learned to face the reality with courage even if life give me many many challenges.
I want to mange my old and limiting beliefs, either I change them or I throw them away and anchor new beliefs into my own subconscious mind. Only with this change will I be able to see a new horizon ahead of me.
Anchoring my new beliefs, believe that I am worthy, believe that I have my own talent, and through these talents such as writing, photography, videography and now drawings, I hope to put them together and create my own worth. I hope to use my talents to contribute to the society, leading all the lost souls towards the path of light, and at the same time, shine upon myself!