I am thankful……

2130hrs.

It has been a breezy season here for the past few months.

As I walked along the dimmed park last night, I could hear nothing except the soft music in my ear. The noise cancellation on my new toy, the Apple AirPods Pro worked well in the park, as it blocked out all the noises from the other park users.

As usual, I came to my favourite spot where I used to meditate in the park and sat down with legs crossed. It is a platform with a big grass patch in front and the sky above my head.

I couldn’t remember when was the last time I meditated there. The cool breeze blew on my face, caressed my body and brought peace to my mind. I tapped on my meditation app, Insight Timer, searched for my favourite meditation music – “Zen Flow” and began to immerse myself into the tranquility of the quiet night.

I relaxed my head, my neck, my shoulder and all the way down to my feet and then let my thoughts flow deep within my soul. I knew that it wasn’t the meditation that I should be practising, for this may not help in quieten my mind, but I was enjoying it.

The thoughts stirred memories in my mind, sweet and bitter, and with each memory, I attempted to let go of the attachments that I had with them. I chose to “be” with them, especially the bitter ones, no matter how bad they could be.

I knew that resistance or feeling bad wasn’t the way to go. I just had to let them come and go. I knew that there are things and people that I really need to let go, even if it’s painful.

Surprisingly, I slipped into a calm and peaceful state gradually, thought still very much aware of the breeze that brushed through my body.

It was close to 40 minutes when I opened my eyes and woke myself up from the quiet moment.

As I stretched my legs out to relieve the pressure on the muscles, I had a sudden urge to lie flat on the platform and so I did. Then what fell into my eyes was a dark sky with a few passing clouds and shimmering stars.

It was the Orion and I immediately took out my phone and started capturing the sky into my phone.

I have not brought my glasses, so I didn’t know how good or bad the shots were until I came home and edited the pictures.

It turned out to be not bad and I was happy.

It was not a productive and fruitful day for me today, for I have wasted time on resolving issue that wasn’t urgent or critical at all.

I felt bad to put the blame on my new manager, who I deemed as not being able to prioritise and manage unexpected absenteeism in the team.

But again, I reminded myself that I could always share my opinions with manager and accept the final decision made by him / her. And so I did, resulting in what I truly call an unproductive day.

Still, I want to be thankful for yet another day gone by smoothly.

Yes, I should be thankful.

And I want to feel thankful.

I am thankful that those whom I love are still well.

I am thankful that I am in perfect health.

I am thankful that there is someone that I miss very much.

I pray, to whoever and whatever, that my loved ones will be blessed.

And I feel blessed as I let love fills my heart.

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I am thankful and it’s time for meditation .

2218hrs.

24.02.2020

Francis Lim

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