Can you remember me…?

I received a Skype message this evening: “Hi Francis, this is Harriet, can you remember me? We attended DILO (day in a life of… another colleague) together last year…”

Searching through my memories, I couldn’t recall who this person is and how she looks like.

I chose to be honest with her and told her I have no memory at all.

She laughed and said it’s fine. Then she continued to talk about a project that I am currently handling.

This wasn’t the first time.

A few months back, a lady from Hong Kong name Nicole Skyped me and needed to ask me a few questions on work. Similarly, she said the same thing: “Can you remember me? We met once.”

Again, I couldn’t recall anything, until she mentioned how we’ve met in Hong Kong office when I was there doing the Razer integration project.

For her, I managed to recall the incident, but I couldn’t recall how she looks like.

Sometimes, I wonder is my memory failing me, but eventually I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t my memory that failed me, it was my lack of interest that failed me.

Perhaps, these people are to me just distant colleagues whom I happened to meet along the way in my work. They are just passers-by who will not affect my life at all. Hence, I have never placed their names or even their faces in heart.

I have so vivid memories of many things that I wish to forget and let go, but these past memories once impact my life greatly, and the people involved were those whom I love and cared for.

Day by day, I practised hard to let go and move on with my life. Regardless the situation that I am in now, or how busy or frustrated or upset I am, I just want to let those emotions stay in my heart for a while, be with them and then let go.

I have figured out that this is the most effective way of moving on – accepting what has already happened and what is happening, then let go by acknowledging that I do not have the power to control the external factors except my own inner being.

There are people whom I miss very much, and what have happened to us stays deep in my heart. At times, my heart weeps, but yet, I put on a smile each day and remind myself that nobody will love me more than I love myself.

It is a fact…

And so I want to fill my heart with love, first to love myself and then to love the others.

I believe that love is the greatest power of all.

*note – I”m not sure what I am writing… but who cares?

11.03.2020

Francis Lim

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