Dear me: You have done your best…
Picture and quote from YouTube
Recently, you seem to have forgotten what you have learned these two years.
You allowed many negative thoughts to fill your mind — thoughts about your manager, thoughts about your co-workers, thoughts about the whole situation in your surrounding right now.
But have you considered that these are people, things and situations that are beyond your control? Besides, whatever that you think and feel, see and hear, are just from your own perspective. There may be many other things that are happening that you are not aware of.
I know you feel lousy for having such a manager, I know you feel that your co-worker could have done better by stepping forward to take ownership, and I also know that you feel betrayed by someone whom you thought you could trust.
And this is understandable, especially so when you think that you have tried to be as vigilant as you can, and helping out the others even though some of the things were not within your scope of work.
I just want to tell you that you have done your best, but you might not have done all the correct things. By trying to control everything and wanting to see things happen the way you wanted them to be, you are just not practising the art of acceptance and allowing.
There are people who will always think that they are right, so they may be right, and all you need to do is to give your honest opinion to them, and if they accept your thoughts and change to the “better”, all is well. But if they don’t, you will need to remember to allow them for who they are.
It may be true that they are not doing a good job, but it is what it is. There is no point in trying to be the Mr. Nice Guy and help them and at the same time, getting upset when people don’t behave the way you expect them to behave.
Accept them for what they are, allow them to behave the way they wish, if you see something not right, you can share your thoughts but expect nothing to happen. I know you may then ask, why should you share your thoughts when you are supposed to expect nothing to happen?
That is always a dilemma that many people face. For many a times, we think we are right, but are we? By sharing, at least, you have made your stand. Then you just need to agree to disagree, whether they agree or disagree.
Don’t let these “toxic” people affect your practice. They are toxic by our own definitions. But at least, we know that we have tried, isn’t it?
You have to also acknowledge that we human beings often have different ways of interpreting what is right or wrong, what is happiness and success. You can’t force their will.
While we understand that true happiness comes from within and not without, they think differently. And the moment you try to change their thoughts and feel unhappy over their refusal to change, you are no different from them.
That’s because you have made yourself unhappy from the external world.
You are intelligent, you are kind and loving, and that is what you are. You try to help the others even though you feel that it is something that should be their job. Then by all means help with no expectations.
“Stress is a gap between our expectations and realities.” This statement has said it all. When we expect something to happen, and reality turn out to be otherwise, we feel frustrated and stressed.
Let go, my dear me.
Let go of all that do not serve you anymore.
Let go of all expectations and let go of people who doesn’t appreciate your effort.
Let go of those whom you love and don’t love you back.
Let go of your ego and stop trying to be righteous.
Let go of your thoughts and let peace fills your mind, body and soul.
And soon, you will realise, all these are nothing but just bubbles in this world, just like what Buddha has said in Diamond Sutra.