Be myself…

06 April 2020.

In Chinese, there is a saying that goes: true friendship will show during crisis time.

The above statement is more applicable to individuals going through some kind of hardship and begin to see the true colours of other people.

I think for every proverb, every wisdom, and every popular quote exists for a reason and there is certain truth in each of them.

Today’s situation is considered a global crisis, and it is through this crisis that we see the true colours of different kind of people, including the country leaders, an organisation’s leader, a department’s leader, a section’s leader and even a team’s leader.

Whether a leader is caring for his people is most apparent in such situation.

I’ve never been a good leader, for my EQ is very low. Most of the times, I tried to look at work from an objective point of view, a logical way of looking things, neglecting the human emotions and the human touch.

It was when I started to be an individual contributor that I realised how lousy I was as a people manager.

One thing that I have never really changed in my life is being myself.

I just want to be myself, not allowing me to do things against my own principle, and I try not to do things that please others, unless the other party is someone close to me, or someone I respect. Still, I will not bow my head too much.

And so for years, as I look back, if not for my ability to prove that I could contribute to the team, I would have been slaughtered many times.

Often, I tell myself that I should not care too much of how others look at me, and I am successful to a certain extent. I do not deny I have my own ego to take care of, and there are times when I got frustrated by the way how others are looking at me.

It sounds contradicting and it is really contradicting, so much so that sometimes I just don’t understand myself.

But if given a choice, or I have a choice, I will choose to really live life for myself, and disregard how others look at me. I don’t need others to like me, and I don’t really want to care.

And if I can master that, and still do a good job, I will then really enjoy true freedom in this world.

06.04.2020

Francis Lim

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