Waking up amid all the noises…
16 April 2020.
It’s Thursday, and coming to the end of another week.
Slowly, I let go of my jealousy the moment I confronted, acknowledged and accepted it.
After all, I’m just a nobody who is trying to understand nothingness.
And I should feel happy that things are all well and there are just too many things that I need to let go.
I know, as I begin to wake up, I am getting wiser, or at least I thought I will.
The surroundings has been filled with silence when everyone is locked down at home.
Measures change every day and each day, they just got stricter.
But while the surroundings is quiet, there is so much noise around me (or us).
When it comes to the word “noise”, usually it is on a negative aspects.
We don’t call music or songs that we love as noise, we don’t call the voices of our loved ones as noise and we don’t frown at the sound of the nature, for they are also not noise to us.
In today’s context, noise does not necessarily means unpleasant sound to our ears. It also refers to non-audible words that irritate us. And it is getting more and more apparent when silenced group chats on mobile phones become noise to me.
What do we call those unwanted mails that come into our mailboxes? Spams and junks. Then what do we call those unwanted messages that keep popping up on the screen of our phones? I call them noise.
I am one who will chat with friends via text messages, yet I cannot understand or imagine how a person or a few people can continue to blast text messages to group chats without stopping, sometimes even after past midnight.
I saw somewhere in Pinterest that day – lingo of text messages – and saw this 3 letter word. Get a life……. Yes, and I really wish to shout out loud in our group chats – hey, please get a life and stop creating noise in my life or use the energy to send blessings to the less fortunate beings.
Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve been seen as one who doesn’t really response to group chat messages often. And so, I can comfortably choose to ignore many messages that aren’t meant for me, or even if they do, I may have missed them.
So I continue to silence my phone and ignore the messages.
Perhaps, all these are training grounds for me to be better each and every day.
What really irk or disgust me are the concerns and care that some people are faking in the group chats, because somehow, I just know they don’t really care.
And as I looked at this quote “Some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop.” today, I pondered over the truth of it.
I feel that the word “love” should be quoted and unquoted for I don’t even call that as love…