Working on my mind, body and soul…
19 April 2020.
It’s a Sunday.
Last night, I wrote a letter to my loved one and had a great sleep after that, for I know that my thoughts and blessings have been sent.
I picked up the pencil today and sketched a fallen leaf, a picture that I took a couple of years back.
I recalled that I took this picture to express some kind of loneliness or solitude, where one (mankind in this world) will find himself being alone at certain point in life, and certainly when it comes to death.
Like the fallen leaf, we will one day walk into our grave, alone and our bodies will decompose and disappear. It is inevitable and thus I have started to train myself to be fearless of death.
It seems like a negative thought, but if we look at it from another perspective, it just tells us how much we need to live our life in the present moment than anything else.
The leaf didn’t choose to fall from the tree, neither did the tree decide to let the leaf go. But nature is nature, when the time comes, nobody can ever stop anything from happening.
Same goes to life.
I am never a healthy-living animal and things that I do are what others will avoid. Miraculously, I seem to be healthier than some of the people of the same age as I am, and even healthier than the younger generation. By the term healthier, I mean I don’t fall sick as often as the others.
Still, there is a need to take care of my body as I’ve learned in the recent years.
After staying at home for almost 2 weeks without going out of the house except to grab food, suddenly I felt a need to work on my body which is getting stuffed with food and only food. It has been an unhealthy routine of wake up, work, eat, work, eat, work more and then sleep. The only healthy thing that is in my life now is the meditation that I have been doing every day and night.
So, I put on my shoe, with just my Apple Watch and a small water bottle, I took a brisk walk in Bishan Park under the hot sun around 4pm. I have never felt so light before as I have left my phone at home. The Apple Watch was more than enough to listen to Podcast as I walked and allowed me to ponder over life.
It was about 34 degree, and I could feel the heat of the sun scorching my arms and neck. Droplets of sweat began to form on my forehead and the almost bald head. My breathing became heavier as I took faster and bigger stride than usual.
Although it was pretty hot, there were also other park users – joggers, walkers, strollers, in-line skaters etc. But silence filled the park, except for the rustling trees when the wind blows once in a while. Besides, I was immersed in my own world with my noise cancelling AirPod Pro.
As I looked around to appreciate the beauty of nature, I enjoyed the greens of the grass patch and the trees, and the blues of the clear sky. There were a few puffy clouds floating but not enough to cover the scorching hot sun.
It took me about an hour to walk 6km and burnt a total of 417 calories only. But it was really a good walk and a time which I enjoyed being alone.
By the time I completed the walk and checked on my Apple Watch, my heartbeat was 137 BPM which was so much higher than my normal heartbeat of 80-90 BPM when not walking.
By then, I was perspiring all over and wished for a cold shower but decided to have short meditation to cool myself down. With the ceiling fan spinning above my head, I sat and focused on my breath, feeling the wind from above and allowed myself to settle down.
Amazingly, I had a peaceful and calm meditation.
When I first started learning meditation, never have I ever thought that it will be something that I need to apply on my dad.
For the past few days, I have been meditating with dad after dinner, attempting to calm his mind down. His worries and fears don’t seem to go away from him, and each day, I witnessed how he become weaker and weaker.
It hurst me internally, and I feel helpless at times. So I have to resort to teaching him meditation and doing it together with him, giving him “instructions” during the meditation and hoping that he will be able to learn what I have learned these recent years.
“Breathe in, breathe out, and count in your heart silently for each in and out breath…”
“Relax your shoulder, relax your arms, relax your stomach, relax your lower body….”
“Focus on your breath, feel that air running in and out through your nose…”
I set a 20 minutes timer with a chime at every 5 minutes interval. When we reached the last 5 minute, I began to make him repeat after me in his heart:
“I am well.”
“I am healthy.”
“I am happy.”
“I am peaceful.”
“I am thankful.”
Then I gave reasons why “I” am all the above, that “my” loved ones are well, that “my” children and grandchildren are well, that “I” am able to move around without the need for help etc. I really do hope that he can comprehend and appreciate all the above statements and let go of all his worries and fears.
Fortunately, it was also a reminder to myself to be grateful for what I have. And as I said the above repeatedly, I filled my heart with love and gratitude. I know that it was a practice for me to work on my soul.
And I reminded myself that there are things that I wish to have, and I don’t have them because it is not the right time yet. I shall accept whatever situation I am in right now and work towards my goals.
I am feeling thankful at this present moment for a day spent on working on my mind, body and soul.
Sketching the leaf allowed me to work on my mind by observing the picture and putting them onto the paper with focus, the brisk walk helped to burn some unnecessary calories and the meditation (which I will do another one later) gave me the chance to do some soul-searching.
I am really thankful.
I realised that I’m writing same stuffs repeatedly. Sometimes I wonder have I run out of things to write, or is it that these are the things that keep coming to my mind.
Perhaps, I’m using my own thoughts and writings to remind myself of the importance of the many wisdoms that exist in this world.
Today, I want to resonate with this quote: Freedom comes when you stop caring about what others think of you…
I love myself, all my loved ones and my friends.