I am comforted

Who is this lady?

05 May 2020.

Tuesday.

It was a productive day for me as I tried to clear all my backlogs of emails that began to pile up over last week. And as I followed up on all the projects that I am handling, I found self satisfaction for I know that there isn’t any big obstacles ahead of me.

I did some touch ups on my own initiative and finally it is ready to be presented to the other people and I feel a sense of achievements.

It was just last week when I had a chat with a senior colleague who told me that everyone in this world will come to a point when it is time to give back.

I pondered over the comment seriously and felt great that I am now giving back my knowledge to the more junior people, even though my way of passing on knowledge may be considered tough lessons for some.

But then again, I am not out to please anyone, for it is not my purpose of life. And I strongly believe that no one is indispensable in this world, and my contribution will only be one of the tunnel of light to the juniors. They have their own methods of achieving their goals and objectives.

While I cannot agree with the way they are managing their projects, I have reconciled within myself that my school of thought could be outdated. It is the world of the new generation, although I don’t consider myself old yet.

Am I inertia? I guess not.

I’m at the most wonderful age where one has gathered experiences, certain level of wisdom, and been there done that. It is one of the most attractive age for a man in his lifetime.

I shall remind myself every day that each day is a gift from life, and regardless I can achieve my dreams or not, I shall live my life fully by making good use of my talents.

It may seem too late for me to realise some of my talents in whatever I am doing right now, and my official work may not be related to what I love to do, but at least, I spend time of my own to do what I love to do. It is part of self improvement by keeping my mind focused.

I have never thought that I could draw until I picked up the pencil. I have never thought that I could journal regularly like what I am doing now. And it has never occurred to me that these are activities that help me grow spiritually, which is something I feel proud of myself.

Hilary left a comment in my last post telling me that I am “really talented”. I looked at the comment and smiled. Yes, my ego felt great with her comments, and I thank her sincerely and silently in my heart.

Sunday was another day which I spent a total of 5 hours doing another sketch of a celebrity. I was curioius on how did I fare in my drawing and told Charlene to post in her Instagram and ask her friends who is the lady that I sketched. I even sent it to 2 of my colleagues to ask.

In the end, there were 2 correct answers. Was that a big number? No, it isn’t. But I was comforted.

Honestly speaking, if it wasn’t sketched by me, I wouldn’t know who is that!

As I meditated before I slept last night, I scanned through my memories and allowed flashbacks of my life to appear in my mind. One by one, I said sorry to all the people I have hurt in my life, and also I apologised to myself internally.

And as I opened my eyes, I felt comforted too.

When I knew that my gift has reached my friend today, I felt comforted. At least, I know that my love and blessings have been sent across. I also know that the time may have come to fully let go and love unconditionally.

Unconditional love, for myself, and for my loved ones.

05.05.2020

Francis Lim

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