My Journey

01 June 2020.

Monday.

It has been 2 months since Singapore government implemented the Circuit Breaker which drives many people “crazy”.

And today marks the end of the circuit breaker, and our government has announced a phased approach to bring all of us back to our normal routine lives.

From my observations in the past 1 week, I have noticed that besides feeling “bored to death”, Singaporeans are gradually letting their guards down, as I see more people in the neighbourhood.

When COVID19 first started in China, it attracted attention from all over the world. Daily news were flooded with all sorts of information on the outbreak of the virus, with numerous videos on China’s situation and “Wuhan” virus was the number 1 topic.

But most of us were just audiences though the situation in China has instilled fears in many countries and people’s hearts, causing many to rush to supermarkets to stock up items that may not be necessary.

Hand sanitizers and masks went out of stock, shelves in super markets were emptied,

As the virus started to spring up in every corner of the world, South Korea, Japan, then Europe and now US, it is amazing that COVID19 is no longer the hot topic and has become something that we take it as part of what is happening in the world right now.

While the other countries’ cases continue to increase, we see China’s numbers maintaining around 80,000+ and how did they do it? Haven’t we learned from them?

I’m sad to see the number of death toll rises every day, and I pray for everyone whenever the thought came into my mind.

When will this end? And will human beings learn from this lesson?

I hope that through this experience, we can all learn to be more grateful towards life and cherish everything that we have right now. If we continue to take things and people for granted, we may not have the chance to shower our love or appreciation to the people who are really close to our hearts when the chances have gone by.

It was Friday afternoon when Irynn sent me a Skype message: Finally, I see your status as “Available”. Then she continued with asking how I am doing and mentioned about her frustrations in work.

What surprised me was her statement claiming that she realised that she doesn’t have a lot of friends (true friends) in the company and I happen to be one of them.

I felt thankful for how she feels, and just thankful. In the past, I might feel delighted and appreciated and even loved.

While I wish to be loved and appreciated, I have learned that things and people change. Having no expectation is the best way to protect myself from being hurt.

There are people whom I love and care very much, but I may not be reciprocated with the same level of love and care that I wish for. So I constantly remind myself that my happiness is from within and not without, regardless I am being loved or not.

If I am loved and appreciated, it’s a bonus to me.

After a few grumble about her frustrations, we ended the conversation by me sharing with her my thoughts on gratitude.

I told her we should be grateful that we are still holding on to a well-paid job while others are losing their jobs due to COVID19. I said we should be grateful that we are alive and kicking while others are fighting for their lives in the hospital.

And I said to her: I used to be annoyed by the roaring of the train and the whizzing motorcycles with modified exhaust that create loud and sharp pitch, I now feel thankful that I can still hear while some people are deaf.

Everyday, I try to practise gratitude and self love. I wake up in the morning doing a short 15 to 30 minutes meditation. Then I will look into my own eyes in the mirror and say to myself: Francis, I love you.

It sounds silly, but the more I do it, the more I see a smile crawling up my face and now it is so natural to me.

Recently, there’s something lingering in my heart about my life for the past 10 years. It’s a long 10 years and so much have happened. If I am to write it down, it will be a long article.

I have spent my time in the last 10 years on many things – journaling, photography and now sketching. And I have my thoughts about these stuffs if I am to write about my long 10 years.

While I’m still amateur in all these areas, I am happy to see my own improvement.

Recently, I have completed 2 sketches on celebrities – Robert Downey Junior and Dwyane Johnson. They may not be the best, but for someone who just started sketching in the beginning of last year, I pat myself on the shoulder and said to myself: Well done, Francis Lim.

And so, I created a video of my drawing journey.

As I looked back into 2018, 2019 and 2020, things have changed for me again, and I see myself walking towards the path of peace, as I gradually learn how to let go of things and people who are closest to my heart.

I don’t seem to have a choice, but not having a choice is a choice by itself, and so my beloved told me once before.

01.06.2020

Francis Lim

Categories: self-love

1 Comment »

  1. You will not want to know how China “deal” with the epidemic. 😦
    Moreover, haven’t I told you that you are talented especially in the discipline of self learning, I enrol to a high diploma in design when I join my current company (as value added program) the course last two years and I could never draw this kind of portraits!!! You are Truly amazing !!!

    Liked by 1 person

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