且骑且留影——这就是我 / Shoot as I ride — This is me

  手机iPhone XS被我粗鲁地摔得破了相,面貌惨不忍睹。
  
  可这却也让我有了借口买一台新苹果手机——iPhone 12!
  
  自从把数码相机收藏了起来之后,就一直用手机拍摄风景,然而总感觉与相机拍摄出来的效果实在是有天壤之别。
  
  但是“息影”的我,已经不想再背负着重重的相机与配件到处奔赴,唯有将就着收接纳那些不是很好的照片。
  
  上个星期天晚上,计划好了且骑且留影,想要试试看iPhone12的摄像功能。
  
  就这样一个人停停走走,每到一处我认为还不错的地方,就让自己停下脚步,感受一下当时的那份宁静,然后再找最适合的角度,把那一幕捕捉在手机里。
  
  結果竟然是出乎我的意料的好。
  
  一个人独处,早已经习以为常。
  
  静静地骑着,静静地拍摄,不必迁就任何人,也不必害怕别人的催促。

  
  我的一生中也留下过许多照片,而我的人生就像照片里的景物一眼,从很多人,到这有两三个人,到今天我的每张照片,几乎除了我之外,就只有风景,再也没有其他人的出现。
  
  曾看过那么一句话:我不害怕孤独,却害怕在人群中感到寂寞。
  
  每每想到这句话,就会体会得更深一层。
  
  确实,许多人都和我一样,发现年龄越长,真心朋友越少。
  
  就算有,也只能偶尔打打招呼,毕竟彼此都有各自的生活。
  
  以前的照片,翻开来看时,总会看到一些故事,挑起一些心事,也或许会燃起一些美丽的憧憬。
  
  可如今的照片,看来看去也看不到空荡荡的风景里想说的或是想表达的是什么样的信息。
  
  空虚感偶尔来袭。
  
  除了骑自行车,拍摄以及画画之外,也喜欢自己一个人躲在一处敲击键盘,把心情的点滴敲成方块文字,借以抒发情绪。
  
  有些人看我是一个孤僻的人,也有人把我看做是内向的人。
  
  其实我也不知道我是一个什么样的人。
  
  今天在脸书看到一张图片,很喜欢。
  
  上面写着:不是每个人都可以遇见同样版本的我。有人或许会说我是一个好人,拥有美丽的灵魂。而另一个人或许会说我是一个无情、冷漠的坏人。请相信他们。因为我会跟着环境与对方作出适当的回应。
  
  这就是我,那个独一无二的我。
  
  18.06.2021
  
  林顺源
  
  My iPhone XS was disfigured greatly due to my careless handling.
  
  But that gave me the excuse to get a new phone recently — iPhone 12!
  
  Ever since I kept my mirrorless Fuji camera, I have been using my iPhone XS to shoot photos, but I was never satisfied with the output as I compared the quality with that of my Fuji camera.
  
  But I have no wish to carry a camera and its gadgets around anymore, so I have to accept the lower quality photos from the mobile phone.
  
  Last Sunday evening, I planned for a “shoot as I ride” cycling trip alone and wanted to test the camera quality of the iPhone 12.
  
  I rode along the Punggol Park Connector (PCN) which is near the coast, and had multiple stops along the way, just to enjoy the serenity of that moment.
  
  Then I sought for the best angle to capture the beauty of that place.
  
  Amazingly, the night mode of iPhone 12 turned out to be much better than I expected!
  
  Being alone is the norm for me now.
  
  Cycling alone, taking pictures quietly, I don’t have to accommodate anyone or worry that I am delaying anybody’s time.
  
  I have taken many photos in my life, and my life is like the scenes in my photos – from many people in a photo, to perhaps just a couple and today, all my photos only have myself in it or just the beautiful scenes.
  
  I’ve read it somewhere: I am not afraid of being lone, but I dread the loneliness feeling in a crowd.
  
  Every time this quote comes into my mind, I would understand it more and more.
  
  Many people are on the same boat as I am, realising that as we age, we have fewer true friends around us.
  
  Even if there is, we can only “hi and bye” to each other as we have our own worlds to take care of.
  
  Looking back, as I flipped through the old photos, they would trigger some sweet memories within me – the people, the stories and even the dreams.
  
  But the photos that I took recently, I do not know what I am trying to express.
  
  Other than cycling, shooting and sketching, I love to sit in my own corner and drop a few lines to express my emotions.
  
  Some people may find me a weird person, some may feel that I am an introvert.
  
  Honestly, I do not know what kind of person I am.
  
  Today, I chanced upon this nice picture with a quote which I like very much. It says: Not every gets the same version fo me. One person might tell you I’m an amazing beautiful soul. Another person might say I’m a cold hearted asshole. Believe them both, I act accordingly.
  
  And this is me. The one and only me.
  
  18.06.2021
  
  Francis Lim

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