Dear me: You have done your best…

Picture and quote from YouTube Dear me, Recently, you seem to have forgotten what you have learned these two years. You allowed many negative thoughts to fill your mind — thoughts about your manager, thoughts about your co-workers, thoughts about the whole situation in your surrounding right now. But have you considered that these are people, things and situations that […]

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I have the relationship…

27 March 2020. “You have the relationships…” When I first heard this statement, I didn’t know was I supposed to take that as a compliment or not. I am pretty sure that I am the odd one out in the department, one who is most rebellious, one who does not suck up to the management, and one who is a solo player, lack of teamwork. But when things went into a mess, and I am needed to help in managing the situation, I was told: “you have the relationships with the commercial team…” I think that was the most unexpected reason I have ever heard. I know that this is a realistic and cruel world. Everyone is with everyone because we have common interest. Benefits are what most people are looking for, be it monetary, power, status or even feelings. We come together as colleagues, teammates, friends and lovers because we gain something out of it — benefits, recognition, pleasure, a place to let go, a harbour to take shelter and many other reasons. But when the thing that we are looking for is no longer needed, we turn and walk away. I am one of them, that is a fact. And yet, I do not wish to be treated like a fool such that when I am needed temporarily, I am remembered. And when things go well, I am forgotten. Yet, I am being treated that way too, and […]

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Words are my only companion

23 March 2020. It is time for journaling again, and as I sat down in front of my iPad Pro and wonder what to write, the title “Words are my only companion” just came to my mind. Yes, indeed they are. For years, they have never deserted me, they have allowed me to express my thoughts, my feelings and my […]

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How to meditate…?

22 March 2020. Dad had a relapse of his mental illness. Tuesday night, he suddenly told me that he started to get worried and fearful for no reason. His mind couldn’t stop thinking and he feels miserable. I asked him what he was thinking about and what he was fearful of, he couldn’t articulate and the only thing he said […]

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