谈情说爱

昨天早晨,抽出了好友的孩子的照片,开始了画画。 难得有一张那么清晰又贴近的照片,只想认真地画,细心地画,用爱心去画,然后赠送给好友。 结果虽然不错,仍然无法满足我那渴望十全十美的心。 午饭后,忽然兴之所至,想要画一张描述“伸出援手”的画面,缘由最近倾听了一些同事的心声,更想起了在远方的最好的朋友,因而心里面浮现了一句话:在你陷入低潮的时候,我愿意伸出我的手来拉你一把。 左思右想,在网络选了一张一只手握着另一只手的图片。 原本的思路不过是小爱,是关于伸出援手帮助朋友的构思,也有愿意牵着你的手一生守护某某人的意念,可是画着画着,忽然就仿佛看到了双手握着的空间隐藏着无数的可能性,尤其是包含着世间无数不同的爱。 譬如父母对子女的爱、子女对双亲的爱、伴侣之间的情爱、朋友之间的友爱、同事之间的友善、人对宠物的宠爱,也有圣人、智者对众生的慈爱,到后来,我看到的是自己的一只手,牵着内心里那个仍然受创的小孩的另一只手,也就是自己对自己的关爱。 英语通俗有一句话:give yourself a pat on the shoulder,意味着表扬自己的成就,自己的努力,以及自己所做对的一切。 这是一种自爱的表现。 俗话说,爱是世界上最大的能量。 爱,可以使人变得更加坚强、更勇敢,也可以让人的心失去平衡; 爱,可以把世界变得更温暖,也可以让人陷入无底深渊。 爱所能够带给我们的力量,毋庸置疑。 而所有的负面倾向并不是爱的错,而是一个人对于爱的理解与诠释,导致为了追求所爱,或是得不到所爱而走偏了方向。 话说回来,人的一生经历,总有起起落落,难免偶尔会陷入或大或小的坑,或多或少都曾经需要某某人伸出援手拉自己一把。 这张图片的初心,就是想要表达这种伸出援手的爱,援助陷入痛苦或迷惘的人走出阴霾的世界。 中国同事福梅小妹在邮件里对我说,基本上北京人2020年的生活就是两点一线,而她前些日子都是把自己关在家里,24小时盯着电脑,吃的都是快递送到小区门口,感觉自己的失重,迷失了自己。 这不仅是小妹一个人(或中国人)所经历的,而是世界各地许多民族都在经历的。 新加坡何尝不也如此被迫“关在”家里两个月? 我想这是新冠状病毒所带给人们的一种考验,也是上天给了众生一次待在家里思考的机会,不再让物欲横流的花花世界所阻挠,而慢慢去认识自己,爱自己。 但,有多少人借此机缘去思考呢?反而在“重重危机”下,仍然很自私地把责任推到病毒的原始,政府“失败”的政策,公司缩减消费的措施。 哪有人认真地惜缘、惜福甚至学会更加地了解或爱自己? 说到爱,若是连自己都不能爱自己,那么爱别人又从何说起? 无独有偶,周六晚上就在YouTube上看到了《有请老梁》说《大话西游》的前世今生,聊的是关于孙悟空在大话西游里对紫霞仙子那份无奈的爱,以及《西游降魔篇》唐僧对驱魔人那份隐藏在内心的爱。 当然,这两部戏的结局是一样的,就是两个人明明深爱着,但偏偏就是因为种种因缘而无法在一起,甚至是阴阳相隔。 看了《大话西游》与《降魔篇》好几遍了,尤其是《大话西游》,年轻时看着觉得很搞笑,也很有创意,但就是没看懂整个故事想要传递的信息,而且那500年前与500百年后的前后颠倒,已经分不清究竟是怎么一回事了。 这两年来,曾看过一些关于解读《大话西游》的视频,才恍然懂了一点点故事真正的含义。 《降魔篇》对于我来说比较容易看懂,就是唐僧一直爱着驱魔人,可又偏偏不愿意承认自己心里的感情,或者说他有更大的使命,就是希望能够度化众生,不愿意去接触小爱。 两部戏,说的都是爱所带给世人的痛苦,在生离死别之际,那种撕心裂肺的痛,流再多的泪,还有不论如何紧紧抓住对方的手,还是将对方紧紧抱着,仍然无法改变命运的残酷。 《大话西游》里孙悟空紧握着已经过世的紫霞仙子的手,头上的紧箍咒因为孙悟空的情欲所牵动而慢慢缩紧,使孙悟空不得不放开紫霞仙子的手,那个场面曾经触动了内心,隐隐觉得那份不舍是多么的痛彻心扉,放手却又是那么的无奈。 同样的,唐僧望着驱魔人被猴妖(也即是孙悟空)临空震得化成烟灰,那份再也看不到,摸不着的心痛,是如何锥心。 所以佛说世间有八苦——生、老、病、死、爱别离、怨憎会、求不得,五阴炽盛,爱别离就是其中一种最无奈的痛苦。 到后来,不论是孙悟空还是唐僧,他们终于都把尘心放下,把爱提升到无私的博爱,经历风风雨雨,到西边取经,只为了能够帮助众生了解人生的真相,世间的无常,以及缘生万法生,缘灭万法灭的真理。 这真的是值得深思的。 上个周六与丽华用午餐,无意间聊到了佛法以及修心。 我们不说修行,因为我们知道尘心仍在,欲望仍在,无法说是修行。 但至少我们可以修心,至少可以减少对这个物欲横流的世界的迷恋, 知道丽华开始修心,我很是高兴。 我知道她一定可以从《心经》里获得许多好处,尽管无法完全通透地理解整部《心经》,但只要懂得“心无挂碍,无挂碍故,无有恐怖,远离颠倒梦想”这句话的真意,就已经获益匪浅。 昨天,在我画到最后的那一刻,看见的是自己牵着内心里小孩的手的时候,忽然就明白了世界上没有人能够真正地把另一个人从深渊里拉出来,终究还是得靠一个人内心对自己的爱,从而获得勇气继续在红尘中缓缓行走。 当我伸出援手的时候,我不过只是借一双耳朵去聆听,用一颗诚挚的心去领会,再用一颗慈悲关怀的心去引领另一个人去爱自己,才能真正的获得解脱。 要爱自己,才懂得如何把这份爱提升到慈悲的境界,才懂得真正的如何去爱别人,才能够帮助他人…… 19.07.2020 林顺源

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Stop worrying…

26 June 2020. I was on leave last Wednesday, and my close friend sent me a message: “Enjoy your leave. And don’t worry about work.” I looked at the message and wondered: Have I been worrying about work? Or did I display that I was worried about work? Perhaps my enthusiasm about certain part of my work and the eagerness […]

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At a loss…

15 June 2020, Monday. I am on leave today. But there’s nowhere I can go for I need to stay home and take care of mom. Renci Hospital remains closed even though our Circuit Breaker has ended, at least until Phase 2 of the end of Circuit Breaker. I continue to take up challenges from my old classmates whom requested […]

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A busy day

06 June 2020, Saturday. It was a busy day for me. I started sketching after breakfast and kept myself busy and peaceful for the whole morning. She was once my best friend when I was 17 years old. And I haven’t seen her for a long time. Her husband was also my good friends in school. We were all in […]

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Self Reflection

19 May 2020. Second working day of the week and I am already feeling mentally tired. I have been “bombarding” and “slamming” the team for two days, coming from the perspective to train and share with them all my knowledge and skill set. During the process, I got worked up a couple of times when I realised that I couldn’t […]

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It’s really time to let go

17 May 2020. A warm but wet Sunday. I was beginning to feel strained and yet I didn’t know about it. For the whole of last week, mom would tell me that dad has been telling her that he was not feeling well and having very bad headache and she needed to go to my sister’s place to see hm. […]

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Challenge

07 May 2020. Thursday. I am falling in love with sketching for now. And the more I sketched, the more I want to challenge myself to do better and better each day. Few days back, Charlene gave me a challenge to draw an Anime character for her to guess who I would be drawing. And I completed the sketch in […]

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I am comforted

Who is this lady? 05 May 2020. Tuesday. It was a productive day for me as I tried to clear all my backlogs of emails that began to pile up over last week. And as I followed up on all the projects that I am handling, I found self satisfaction for I know that there isn’t any big obstacles ahead […]

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Accomplishments…

 02 May 2020. Saturday night. This week has been a great week. First of all, dad is recovering, I hope. He has stopped coming over to my house and heeded my advice to stay at home since he has been feeling weak. Besides, he has acknowledged that his anxiety has got to do with the way mom treated him, and […]

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